Good day.
In this rerun from April 15, 2007, the theme is “Which animal would you be?” Mireille Silcoff reveals her “talent” for identifying which animal a person most resembles, which leads Jonathan to prompt the question to others.
In a monologue, he determines he’d be a leopard, but a mostly vegetarian one who preferred coriander tofu. Jonathan’s monologue continues, musing upon “learned incompetence,” and what our furniture says about us (if anything) while trying to find a hypothetical situation in which Sam Shalabi would agree to be Jonathan’s cuddly kitten.
The episode finishes off with an eavesdropped conversation amongst the regulars at Damico’s Coffee Shop in Brooklyn (home of NYC’s #1 coffee) regarding which animal they’d be.
You may remember Mireille Silcoff from other Wiretap episodes (i.e. Private Life; Public Performance) and as editor of Guilt and Pleasure Magazine. Sam Shalabi is also a regular guest, and an accomplished Oud player, as demonstrated in “Old Scores,” broadcast on November 6, 2004.
We also hear “Swinging on a Star” by Bing Crosby:
Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He’s fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don’t care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig
Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?
A fish won’t do anything, but swim in a brook
He can’t write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he’s slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish
A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish
And all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it’s all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin’ on a star
Tags: Mireille Silcoff, Sam Shalabi
