Running Jokes

You could classify these as running jokes or simply character traits, but here are a couple things that come up more than once on Wiretap:

Jonathan’s Drunkenness

Although Jonathan claims to abstain from alcohol, meat and dairy, his friends constantly reference events that say otherwise. He vehemently denies the following:

  • In “Helping Johnny,” Howard asks if Jonathan has “already started drinking,” as he knows that he likes to “have a little nip in the afternoon.”
  • In “Fake it ’til You Make It,” Howard recalls John Tucker as the guy who helped wrestle Jonathan’s keys away from him when he was too drunk to drive.
  • In “Just Relax,” Josh says, “Drag yourself away from your 19 martini lunch, we have human beings to deal with.”
  • In “Private Life; Public Performance,” Howard jokes that John is so drunk that they call him “Johnny Can’t-Walker.”

Howard’s Love of Sandwiches

Howard seems to be perpetually eating, preparing, thinking about or referencing sandwiches. For example:

  • SPOILER ALERT: In “This One’s For the Children,” Howard decides to make his dummy into a sandwich.
  • In “Helping Johnny,” Howard eats a sandwich in the production booth (much to Jonathan’s chagrin: “You’re getting crumbs all over the console.”)
  • In “Don’t Go Changing,” Howard eats a sandwich while rehearsing lines, to which Jonathan contends “How can you button up her dress while eating a sandwich,” to which Howard cleverly rejoins, “I could just shove the whole thing in my mouth.”
  • In “How to Be Funny,” Howard cites his sandwich as evidence of his everyman mentality. Notes that there would be “some salami” in there, too.
  • In one episode that I cannot recall, while Jonathan is scuffling with Howard, he becomes annoyed and asks “Why are your hands so sticky?” to which Howard replies matter-of-factly: “It’s jam.”
  • Howard bribes Maurice, the CBC security guard, with a ham and provolone sandwich on whole wheat in “Treat Me Right.”
  • In “Where Have All The Spaniards Gone?” Howard describes his routine before Desmond as “laying in the dark eating a sandwich” and after as chasing Desmond around, trying to regain his sandwich and then trading bites of said sandwich. Also, Jonathan mentions that, like Batman, he too has secrets, as he occasionally sneaks a sandwich into the studio, which is against the rules. He extrapolates further, saying that he has a “secret lair of bread” which houses a “secret layer of sandwich meat.”

Howard’s Many Jobs

The CBC website states that “Howard Chackowicz has had over 50 jobs and currently works at a second hand bookstore. He is a published comic artist, illustrator, musician and sometimes radio guest. His new book of comics and cartoons is available through.” In a 2001 interview by snubdom, he railed off this list: Construction, short order cook, door-to-door salesman, government, telephone solicitation, phone scams, bike courier, bookstores, dishwasher, waiter.

As in real life, Howard’s character has held many positions:

  • Bee Keeper (“Man Is a Rope Between Ordinary and Extraordinary”)
  • Party Animal
  • Ventriloquist (“This One’s For the Children”)
  • Poet (“Career Opportunities”)
  • Stand Up Comic (“Private Life; Public Performance“)
  • CBC Wiretap Intern (“Helping Johnny”)
  • And more…

Howard’s Patriotism

Howard loves Canada and wields his affiliation with the CBC (always uttering its un-acronymed form: Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) proudly. For instance:

  • In his three chances to call from the studio, he becomes indignant when questioned and invokes the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s name. To the editor at the Regina Quarterly in “Career Opportunities,” to Paul Tough in “Canadian Content,” and to a professor in “Helping Johnny.”
  • In “How to Be Funny,” Howard shouts out to the “audience,” “You all from Canada? Alright, I love Canada!”

Gregor’s Re-branding Ideas

Gregor is full of ideas to spice up Wiretap’s stodgy, outmoded aesthetic. Examples:

  • “Bring Sexy Back” with a saucy voice actress in “Helping Johnny.”
  • A hip, youthful sidekick “Greggy Digital,” in “Modern Times.”
  • Edgy radio-personas evocative of morning show hooligans in “Who is the Mud Dog?”
  • A move to television or “v-casting” in “Selling Out.”
  • Adopt a Brooklyn accent in order to boost his tough-guy credibility in “Far Away Places.”
  • General points for Wiretaps intermittent call-in shows on “Do Me a Solid.”

Gregor’s Inventions

Gregor occasionally invents devices that he believes will help Jonathan in life.

  • A protective helmet complete with an iPod and a siren in “Protect Yourself.”

Zack’s Mother’s Disdain for Jonathan

Whenever Zack Stevens calls for advice from “Uncle Johnny” he ends up regretting his decision and admitting that his mother was right, Jonathan is a:

  • Mental Midget
  • Eunuch
  • Egomaniac

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