Hi!

There’s a new post about the very “The Books” heavy episode. (Apparently, Jonathan Goldstein was sampled in The Books’ song If Not Now, Whenever on Lost and Safe).

But you have to come here to read it.

The Monkey, The Leopard and the Kitten

Good day.

In this rerun from April 15, 2007, the theme is “Which animal would you be?” Mireille Silcoff reveals her “talent” for identifying which animal a person most resembles, which leads Jonathan to prompt the question to others.

In a monologue, he determines he’d be a leopard, but a mostly vegetarian one who preferred coriander tofu. Jonathan’s monologue continues, musing upon “learned incompetence,” and what our furniture says about us (if anything) while trying to find a hypothetical situation in which Sam Shalabi would agree to be Jonathan’s cuddly kitten.

The episode finishes off with an eavesdropped conversation amongst the regulars at Damico’s Coffee Shop in Brooklyn (home of NYC’s #1 coffee) regarding which animal they’d be.

You may remember Mireille Silcoff from other Wiretap episodes (i.e. Private Life; Public Performance) and as editor of Guilt and Pleasure Magazine. Sam Shalabi is also a regular guest, and an accomplished Oud player, as demonstrated in “Old Scores,” broadcast on November 6, 2004.

We also hear “Swinging on a Star” by Bing Crosby:

Would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears

Kicks up at anything he hears

His back is brawny but his brain is weak

He’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak

And by the way, if you hate to go to school

You may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face

His shoes are a terrible disgrace

He has no manners when he eats his food

He’s fat and lazy and extremely rude

But if you don’t care a feather or a fig

You may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a fish?

A fish won’t do anything, but swim in a brook

He can’t write his name or read a book

To fool the people is his only thought

And though he’s slippery, he still gets caught

But then if that sort of life is what you wish

You may grow up to be a fish

A new kind of jumped-up slippery fish

And all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo

Every day you meet quite a few

So you see it’s all up to you

You can be better than you are

You could be swingin’ on a star

Guilt and Pleasure

At the end of Private Life; Public Performance JG mentions that the first act was a collaboration between him and Mireille Silcoff and appears in Guilt and Pleasure. For the life of me, I can’t find it but I did find some other delectable goodies:

• Gregor Ehrlich essay: A Life in Chickens
• Jonathan Goldstein: Messiah in a Bottle (print version of the episode Messiah ‘83)
• Jonathan Goldstein: Man Not Superman (as read by Rob Corddry in We Are Not Supermen, also heard on This American Life)
• David Rakoff: Oh The Trouble I’ve Heard
• Shalom Auslander: Plagued
• Gregor Ehrlich: To Life
• Shalom Auslander: Mahmoud, Mom; Mom, Mahmoud
• Mireille Silcoff: Chez l’arabe

Oh and pictures:

I think you should all go to Guilt and Pleasure and read/buy every issue. David Rakoff has a piece in the newest issue, too.

I think this is an all-Jewish publication. Though it doesn’t mention that any where in its about. Maybe it just so happens that all my favorite authors are Canadian Jews.

Guilt & Pleasure is a quarterly magazine that’s making you talk more . Guilt & Pleasure is based on the belief that a good argument – especially on issues of community and identity in America – has become too rare a thing. We hope our magazine and the DIY section of this website will be used as raw material to spark conversation – be it around the dinner table, a coffee shop, or a bar. Guilt & Pleasure encourages you to talk amongst yourselves.

UPDATE: I emailed the magazine seeking the piece, and apparently it doesn’t exist?:

I’m not sure which article you are referring to. Jonathan and Mireille have both written for the magazine (and Mireille was the editor-in-chief) but I don’t believe they ever did an article together. And the hypnotist doesn’t sound familiar to me although I wasn’t working here for the first four issues so I could be wrong. It sounds like it would be in the Magic issue- there is an article about Hitler’s psychic/hypnotist by Mel Gordon in there- could that be what they were talking about?

Hmm, Guess I’ll ask CBC.